Monday Mantra: Memory of a Volvo.

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Her name was Sophie de a Volvo (play on words), and she was a tank of red hot beauty, loaded to the you know whats.  Sophie was attached to me by way of my Uncles neighbour for the small sum of $450 in 1994, I'm a bit sketchy on the year, and she was 20 years old - one year my senior. It was $275 per year to insure Sophie, and she cost me all of $200 in repairs in the first year I had her. She was a good first car. Sophie came as a 4 speed  Manual Switch Over-drive, with an extra back seat that I used at my headboard in my room for years. She was fully fitted and a luxury, all be it a 20 year old luxury, European sport edition. I raced her against a Honda Prelude once, and won. She was a vixen not to be messed with. Sadly, some idiot took Sophie away from me. The Police found him with his car driven into a 7 foot snowbank, claiming that all the front end damage was from hitting the snowbank at 30 kilometers per hour. It's taken me a lifetime to get over the whiplash and the trauma of losing Sophie so early in our life together. She was the only girl I ever loved.

Sophie reminds me of a simpler time in my life. I was in Art School and focused drawing, painting, spinning clay, working on a Mac for graphics, using a new 3 1/4" floppy disk (cellphones hit the market the following year.) I worked at KFC two nights a week, served in a restaurant two nights a week, and built sets for shows one day a week. I had a two bedroom apartment, a roommate, fourty pounds lighter, Enigma's "Return to Innocence" in my cassette deck, and some small student loan debts - I was free as a bird and I always thought that Sophie took me there and back again, but I realize that it was my new adulthood type of exploration that did that for me.

So, for this week, when 'things' are tighter than usual, someone tries to steal my spirit away, or when I'm feeling defeated, I'm going to think of Sophie and our time together. I'm going to remind myself that there is a type of youthful innocence in everything I do and to abandon my 20 years of accrued adult analytical designer ego.

Let it go.